Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I blog, therefore...what?

For the inaugural post in any new blog there is either a desire to lead off strong with some epic work of insight, or to hit the other extreme with “So, err, I have a blog...”-esque nonchalance. I chose neither. My highest hopes for this adventure is a sort of long-winded pedestrian mediocrity but at the same time I abhor laziness and white noise, so I may as well stay true to form from the very beginning.

I could wax high-minded about it and make some tenuous reference to the Buddhist Middle Way, but that would be dishonest and, even worse, pretentious. I strive, with a haphazard success rate, to avoid that sort of thing.

The honest truth is that I don’t have all that much of interest to say. The older I get, the fewer opinions I seem to have. I remember being 18 and having lots of them. The years since then have brought with them a gradual dawning of just how little I know about anything, the less I can justify if challenged and consequently the less I have to say. Beliefs lose ground on closer inspection and critique, and become opinions. Opinions in and of themselves carry no weight, and all I am left with are a loose collection of vague, unoriginal ideas.

If I bring nothing to the table, what possible motivation could I have for starting a blog?

This is a difficult question to answer, and it may one day become the self-fulfilling goal of this blog to answer that very question. Why, for that matter, does anybody blog? Is it more than just a product of vanity or narcissism? It is one thing to record one’s own thoughts for any particular reason, be it therapy or posterity, but to then broadcast that to the world would seem to suggest, on some level, that one thinks their musings worthy of a global audience. This is a question that every blogger should have to honestly answer to themselves, and that answer should not make them cringe inwardly.

Incidentally, were I to force this requirement upon myself as a condition of continuance, then this may possibly be the last post as well as the first. Then what would have been the point of it all? I would be confronted with the same choice that everybody is faced with on many more than one occasion in their lives: Do you turn back now and admit it was all a mistake, or forge on to salvage something from the mess so it was not all in vain?

So back to the pivotal question that threatens to bring down The Hinternets after one uncertain step from its unveiling. What does this blog bring to the table? Other than more words to read on the internet, arguably very little. Perhaps it may be refreshing to hear somebody who, for a change, isn’t on a crusade to stoke the fires of their ego by being right about everything. How then could such a blog be interesting while refraining from setting the world to rights? Perhaps the premise of humility and blogging is an impossibility. When you begin on the principle of opposition to the image of yet another lone voice, full of piss and wind, braying for attention by pretending they know better than everybody else, you paint yourself into a tight little corner. Even pointing that out flirts dangerously with self-contradiction.

See how hard this is going to be?

Or perhaps it is permissable to set out on a journey with no destination in mind. Perhaps The Hinternets will shape its own identity or lack thereof along the way. All I know is this: it’s going to be an obscure ride, folks.